oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
