Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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