at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
