belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
