Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
