Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize