i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
