He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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