i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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