So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
