Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
