I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
