Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
