I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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