just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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