Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
