jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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