You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
