well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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