He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
