You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
