I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Randomize
