Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
