awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
