So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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