Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
and you fell through a lawn chair
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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