guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
