i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
