bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
