dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
