So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
