He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
