I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
