people are starting to question the shark bite story
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
