so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
