and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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