Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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