I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
