Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Vodka?
Forever.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
