No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
