Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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