I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
this just has baby written all over it
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
