That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
