Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
