Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have aggressive nipples.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
