You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Enjoy the penises
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
