You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
