You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
