My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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