just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
