it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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